The best fake films from "Seinfeld"

Briefly mentioned during "The Bizarro Jerry" episode. Kramer (Michael Richards) found his way into a job with the company Brandt and Leland, where his role included "TOC" (taking care of business). Following a busy day, Kramer was too swamped to join Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) for a 7 p.m. showing of Cold Fusion. 

In "The Heart Attack" episode from early in Season 1, Jerry has a dream about a science-fiction film and gets up to write down a potential comedy bit. However, he can't read his own scribbling. Eventually, he sees a sci-fi movie on television that sparked the dream. Larry David plays an unidentified futuristic being shouting about "flaming globes, Sigmund."

We'll consider this a twofer because both films are mentioned when Kramer's new phone number differs ever-so-slightly from the automated "Moviefone" directory ("The Pool Guy" episode). George (Jason Alexander) calls what he thinks is "Moviefone," only to mistakenly dial Kramer's phone. Over his initial annoyance of the number confusion, Kramer (Michael Richards) embraces the film directory, mimics the automated voice, and tries his best to hilariously be a service to moviegoers. We never learn anything more about these two films beyond the titles.

From "The Calzone" episode, we were never really told what Means to an End was about, but it was apparently the hottest movie ticket in the country. The film was sold out at various spots throughout Manhattan, but Jerry's girlfriend at the time, Nikki (Dylan Tays), was able to get her hands on a couple of those coveted tickets. 

While Jerry and Nikki could score tickets to the sold-out Means to an End, Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and her date, Todd Gack (John D'Aquino), were not so fortunate. Thus, they are forced to see the lesser-in-demand Blame it on the Rain. Elaine is not too happy. 

In "The Comeback," Elaine becomes rather obsessed with the video-store selections of employee Vincent. However, at one point, she shuns his pick of The Pain and the Yearning, a 192-minute movie where "an old woman experiences pain and yearning," for Weekend at Bernie's II. The dark, artsy Vincent is not pleased with Elaine's decision and causes a rift in their strange movie-rental relationship.

The Muted Heart ("The Engagement" episode) stars a couple of Hollywood heavy hitters in Glenn Close and Sally Field. George was not a big fan and wanted to see a popular action movie. Since George had not only reunited with his old girlfriend Susan (Heidi Swedberg) but delivered a marriage proposal she accepted, he was forced to see The Muted Heart, which left his new fiancée in tears.

A recently engaged George wanted to see Firestorm. Much to George's chagrin, Jerry enjoyed and raved about it to another buddy while passing George and Susan in the theater lobby. "And what about when Harrison Ford jumped out of the plane and was shooting back up at them while he was falling," a passionate Jerry said. The movie was also referenced in "The Rye" episode when Frank Costanza (Jerry Stiller) chastises Mr. Ross (Warren Frost) for "'spoiling it for me."

Prognosis Negative might be the most overhyped fictional film in Seinfeld history. As mentioned several times throughout the show's run, this film, which Elaine does not want to see without Jerry ("The Dog"), turns out to be a dud. That's according to Jerry, who eventually sees Prognosis Negative again with Elaine later ("The Junior Mint" episode). There's even a shot of the movie poster at one point during the series.

Returning to "The Pool Guy" episode, Kramer poses as the automated voice of "Moviefone." On one occasion, he offers a brief audio preview for Mountain High, an R-rated film starring Kevin Bacon and Susan Sarandon. "You’ve got to get me over that mountain!” Kramer proclaimed in the voice-over fashion. Followed by his own loud explosion, fake scream, and the tagline, "There's no higher place than...Mountain High." 

So, instead of seeing Prognosis Negative together without Jerry, George and Elaine catch Ponce de León ("The Dog" episode), the story of the famed Spanish conquistador who tried to find the mythical Fountain of Youth. The two friends discuss the film during the "The Movie" episode. Elaine was not a fan, but George claimed to shed a tear when Ponce splashed in the so-called Fountain of Youth and sadly did not get any younger. 

Speaking of "The Movie," the focus of this entertaining episode from the fourth season is on CheckMate. A tale, apparently, about chess and intrigue . The four main characters have a hard time meeting up to see this film. Viewers get some overheard dialogue (voiced by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David) about why a king would like chess if his piece was in jeopardy during a match.

This might be one of the more underrated fictional Seinfeld flicks. In the last original episode before the two-part series finale ("The Puerto Rican Day"), George draws laughter from fellow moviegoers when he yells, "That's gotta hurt!" after the famed Hindenburg explodes. Feeling empowered, George goes back to see the film again, but this time, the result is far from the same.

"Everybody out of the Chunnel!" An unseen voice (courtesy of Larry David) screams while we're taken inside a Manhattan movie theater. According to Seinfeld lore, Chunnel is a film where the daughter of the United States president is trapped in the "chunnel" between England and France. Jerry, Elaine, and Susan see the movie together ("The Pool Guy" episode), though Susan is not happy with the two friends' noisy conversations while watching the film. Chunnel is also referenced during "The Cadillac, Part I" episode.

While everyone around Elaine is boasting about how good of a film The English Patient (12-time, Oscar-nominated film) is, she seems more interested in the comedy Sack Lunch. An apparent story of a family stuck in a brown paper lunch bag. "So, do you think they got shrunk down, or is it just a giant sack?" Elaine eventually sees and hates The English Patient, much to the dismay of her female friends and boyfriend at the time.

The Other Side of Darkness plays a prominent role in "The Comeback" episode. The straight-to-video movie, which is more than two hours long and "unforgettably" casts Eric Roberts as the male lead, is about a woman who slips into a coma. Having watched to that point, Kramer decides to make his own legal plans should he ever find himself in a coma. However, once Kramer finishes the movie and learns the woman regains consciousness, he has second thoughts about his own living will.

"When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who you are, but because of different reasons altogether!" The tagline of this apparently entertaining action film spewed by Kramer ("The Little Kicks" episode). He attends a preview showing with Jerry and Brody (Neil Giuntoli), who also happens to be filming the movie for bootleg purposes. Jerry is concerned but ultimately finds himself caught up in Brody's illegal form for filmmaking and distribution.

Perhaps the highlight of "The Little Kicks" episode is when Kramer tries his hand at taping this movie that's described as "an artsy movie" for Brody's bootleg business after Jerry declines. Kramer eventually leaves his camera, with the tape of the film in it, at Jerry's place. Elaine then happens upon said camera and tapes herself to see if she really is an atrocious dancer. Unbeknownst to Elaine, she tapes over part of Cry, Cry Again. Jerry and Kramer explain to Brody how the film "falls apart at the end" with the scene of a lone dancer.

Several times during the legendary comedy series were references to this film about "a young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk." George seems to be particularly enamored with the movie, probably because, as ex-girlfriend Susan pointed out ("The Smelly Car" episode), it has "a lot of nudity." In "The Understudy" episode, Rochelle, Rochelle is adapted into a Broadway musical, with the legendary Bette Midler in the lead role.